最近学校总是老爱扮演停电的计量。上周陈老师说这是 30 年来的第一次，耀杰说这是三天来的第二次。
听说只有新能源 (power supply aka the then-PUB )的分站（sub-station）才能够解决这样的电源短路问题（power trip）
我们年代的人可真是见识广阔啊……
28 March 2006
27 March 2006
Some phrases that really got me thinking recently... ...
When one door closes, the other one opens.
人生本来就是很多无奈，而活得快乐就是把它给看清楚了。
虽是无奈，但却是美丽的。
人生本来就是很多无奈，而活得快乐就是把它给看清楚了。
虽是无奈，但却是美丽的。
Debrief Follow Up
A friend told me that i got too high expectations.
Kids at our age of 15s and 16s should only remember about the laughters and the joys, and that i should not force my perspectives on them.
Afterall i am the best judge on whether i have put in my best.
If they learn, its their fortunes. If they don't its still their lives.
Ultimately i also cannot be absolutely sure that whatever i have done is the best for all of them.
I guess we all make mistakes. I guess the results do not really matter anymore if intentions were well meant.
Yet i will still feel sad if there were failures, or disappointments when it can be better done. Only this, i cannot forsake, for it would make a different me if it was otherwise.
Another friend told me, its better to live life without expectations.
My answer is a short but meaningful one is what i would prefer.
Kids at our age of 15s and 16s should only remember about the laughters and the joys, and that i should not force my perspectives on them.
Afterall i am the best judge on whether i have put in my best.
If they learn, its their fortunes. If they don't its still their lives.
Ultimately i also cannot be absolutely sure that whatever i have done is the best for all of them.
I guess we all make mistakes. I guess the results do not really matter anymore if intentions were well meant.
Yet i will still feel sad if there were failures, or disappointments when it can be better done. Only this, i cannot forsake, for it would make a different me if it was otherwise.
Another friend told me, its better to live life without expectations.
My answer is a short but meaningful one is what i would prefer.
My own debrief on the campcraft competition
Still it bothers me after many days. I guess its not something that anyone can make a definition about, whether we are successful or we are not.
As a teacher, i guess its not totally appropriate to immerse myself in the training in the very 1st place (whoever made this unspoken rule), yet there are still people who does this.
The heart worries when promises are made and you dun see them fulfilled. So rather than to see training going to waste, it was our own bodies of which we put to the test.
However at the end of it all, i am sad to say that everything ended with a treat of ice-cream and a hasty retreat of people.
Made me ponder: have my efforts all went down the drain?
Did we do it totally wrong?
It really feels very very sad when your efforts are down the drain, especially when there's no visible reward to the taking. Last time when i was in the team, i had the trophies to look forward to.
Now i guess its naught.
It shall take yet another big jump to be able to pull myself up again, just like when i see people leave, because they cannot agree, or people who treat you like strangers when they see you on the street.
Sometimes giving yourself means more than expecting an immediate reward, and i guess i must be like a phoenix, setting myself ablaze when all seems hopeless and start anew.
Yet how many times can i set myself ablaze before i am totally cold and broken?
As a teacher, i guess its not totally appropriate to immerse myself in the training in the very 1st place (whoever made this unspoken rule), yet there are still people who does this.
The heart worries when promises are made and you dun see them fulfilled. So rather than to see training going to waste, it was our own bodies of which we put to the test.
However at the end of it all, i am sad to say that everything ended with a treat of ice-cream and a hasty retreat of people.
Made me ponder: have my efforts all went down the drain?
Did we do it totally wrong?
It really feels very very sad when your efforts are down the drain, especially when there's no visible reward to the taking. Last time when i was in the team, i had the trophies to look forward to.
Now i guess its naught.
It shall take yet another big jump to be able to pull myself up again, just like when i see people leave, because they cannot agree, or people who treat you like strangers when they see you on the street.
Sometimes giving yourself means more than expecting an immediate reward, and i guess i must be like a phoenix, setting myself ablaze when all seems hopeless and start anew.
Yet how many times can i set myself ablaze before i am totally cold and broken?
26 March 2006
In the Dead of the Night
Certain Songs touched you when it is in the dead of the night and you are still up, doing supposedly nothing at all.
Life seems to be coming to a blank and life seems to be such to be easier to make some meaning out of it sometimes.
Happiness should be little to be worth treasuring? Sadness aplenty so we can understand the importance of bliss?
The pursuing of a dream that seems insurmountable?
Songs in the background:
Corrinne May -- Free, Journey, Will You Remember Me,
Life seems to be coming to a blank and life seems to be such to be easier to make some meaning out of it sometimes.
Happiness should be little to be worth treasuring? Sadness aplenty so we can understand the importance of bliss?
The pursuing of a dream that seems insurmountable?
Songs in the background:
Corrinne May -- Free, Journey, Will You Remember Me,
The Results of Months of Training
Thie year's competition was a complete disaster for many schools. Many who used to train very hard did not make it to the finals and yet many more who trained so hard were not able to get even a good placing in the competition.
Ask what were the exact things the committee wanted, and it would be quite confirmed that nobody really know what was expected except perhaps for functionality and campcraft skills.
Just talk about the ability to house 9 persons sleeping in the competition, i think only 2 schools fulfilled the criteria. Yet the ranking was not reflected in that way.
And these are just some of the many other things that i am feeling so frustrated over. At the end of it all, it seems that luck could perhaps be the biggest player.
So why are we training so hard for? Glory when we do not know how to achieve it besides putting in our efforts?
If today's judging was fair and transparent, how is it that we are not able to list out our mistakes clearly besides guessing? How is it that the chief judge could announce "ease of entry" only when everything has ended?
So many days of our lives, so much sacrifices.
And when we thought that at the end of it all, we could at least leave with the thought that at least we have tried our best and that we are just not as good, we leave with so many doubts and unjust feelings.
When we thought that perhaps we could be at least closely bonded and maybe even set a good start for everlasting friendships, we were seemingly given a nil for an answer.
What happened to everyone when everything came to an end? Why was there no opening of hearts? Why were people anxious to leave?
Because we cannot swallow our defeat? We cannot show our feelings?
We don't care?
Were our efforts come to waste? Or was it just me?
Ask what were the exact things the committee wanted, and it would be quite confirmed that nobody really know what was expected except perhaps for functionality and campcraft skills.
Just talk about the ability to house 9 persons sleeping in the competition, i think only 2 schools fulfilled the criteria. Yet the ranking was not reflected in that way.
And these are just some of the many other things that i am feeling so frustrated over. At the end of it all, it seems that luck could perhaps be the biggest player.
So why are we training so hard for? Glory when we do not know how to achieve it besides putting in our efforts?
If today's judging was fair and transparent, how is it that we are not able to list out our mistakes clearly besides guessing? How is it that the chief judge could announce "ease of entry" only when everything has ended?
So many days of our lives, so much sacrifices.
And when we thought that at the end of it all, we could at least leave with the thought that at least we have tried our best and that we are just not as good, we leave with so many doubts and unjust feelings.
When we thought that perhaps we could be at least closely bonded and maybe even set a good start for everlasting friendships, we were seemingly given a nil for an answer.
What happened to everyone when everything came to an end? Why was there no opening of hearts? Why were people anxious to leave?
Because we cannot swallow our defeat? We cannot show our feelings?
We don't care?
Were our efforts come to waste? Or was it just me?
23 March 2006
20 March 2006
Sentimentalism
okok so i shall not complain too much on the blog... if not people dun wan to read anymore.
today was yet another day of campcraft training, and suddenly i had this thought in my mind: what if i was 50 years old and still training yet another campcraft team? scary thought isn't it?
then mr thodey's words came to my mind again when we were complaining about the vendor at the batam staff retreat. He actually said that i am the kind who will be in teaching forever!
haha another scary thought.
I often thought to myself, if teaching wasn't the way that i can feel for today and tomorrow, i will leave the service.
I still feel overwhelming thoughts when i see students write about their lives, either with me or without me. As long as i was part of their lives and that i have made a difference, i will feel a surge of immense satisfaction throughout my soul.
The kind of feeling that makes you euphorical.. .similar to drugs? Only if i know what's it like.. .yet you feel sober at the same time and most of all, life begins to feel all meaningful again.
Sometimes i long for time to stop, for all the happy memories to freeze in time and space; certain photographs make me want to cry and certain pictures gets me all moody all in an instant.
Maybe that is sentimentalism.
today was yet another day of campcraft training, and suddenly i had this thought in my mind: what if i was 50 years old and still training yet another campcraft team? scary thought isn't it?
then mr thodey's words came to my mind again when we were complaining about the vendor at the batam staff retreat. He actually said that i am the kind who will be in teaching forever!
haha another scary thought.
I often thought to myself, if teaching wasn't the way that i can feel for today and tomorrow, i will leave the service.
I still feel overwhelming thoughts when i see students write about their lives, either with me or without me. As long as i was part of their lives and that i have made a difference, i will feel a surge of immense satisfaction throughout my soul.
The kind of feeling that makes you euphorical.. .similar to drugs? Only if i know what's it like.. .yet you feel sober at the same time and most of all, life begins to feel all meaningful again.
Sometimes i long for time to stop, for all the happy memories to freeze in time and space; certain photographs make me want to cry and certain pictures gets me all moody all in an instant.
Maybe that is sentimentalism.
17 March 2006
这阵子... ...
里总是说我爱谈生活的大事，完全没有提到自己的私生活。
回想起来，我好象没有什么私生活，除了偶尔的电影与朋友吃饭外，剩余的时间几乎都是穿梭于学校和住处之间。
忙碌的工作常常让我对待玩乐感到力不从心。从前爱看电视节目，打电动，现在却只能沦落到看书和跑步。
记得前几天，我还向老朋友投诉，说那架两个月前买的 Sudoku 游戏机现在却只在家里堆积灰尘。
这样的生活到底是幸福还是遗憾呢？
回想起来，我好象没有什么私生活，除了偶尔的电影与朋友吃饭外，剩余的时间几乎都是穿梭于学校和住处之间。
忙碌的工作常常让我对待玩乐感到力不从心。从前爱看电视节目，打电动，现在却只能沦落到看书和跑步。
记得前几天，我还向老朋友投诉，说那架两个月前买的 Sudoku 游戏机现在却只在家里堆积灰尘。
这样的生活到底是幸福还是遗憾呢？
12 March 2006
幸福
我好喜欢参加婚礼。看到了别人的幸福，那真是一种很好的感觉。
星期六时候，我的一位同事踏上了红地毯。悦耳的音乐中，大家心里都应该是欢喜非常的。那种感动，那种幸福的憧憬也再次获得了肯定。
你心里的幸福又是什么呢？
星期六时候，我的一位同事踏上了红地毯。悦耳的音乐中，大家心里都应该是欢喜非常的。那种感动，那种幸福的憧憬也再次获得了肯定。
你心里的幸福又是什么呢？
11 March 2006
Love
Read on a magazine that love is made up of chemicals produced by the human body; passion versus bonding.
When we have a lot of drive and energy, the passion chemicals are the ones at work. Bonding does not necessarily comes with passion.
Which is why we could love something so much in an instant and yet hate it in another.
That is if you love something in the first place.
But what if you do not love something anymore? How about passion and bonding?
When we have a lot of drive and energy, the passion chemicals are the ones at work. Bonding does not necessarily comes with passion.
Which is why we could love something so much in an instant and yet hate it in another.
That is if you love something in the first place.
But what if you do not love something anymore? How about passion and bonding?
05 March 2006
End of Yet Another Busy Week
Time flies and i am actually going to start a brand new week. Felt like nothing has been done and yet i am here again, blogging.
Tuesday the 28th of Feb was the start of the OC Modular conducted at NPCC HQ and went on for a whopping 4 days at the very ulu Choa Chu Kang Home Team Academy. Then when it all ended, it was to be a very long journey home to prepare for the Sec 1 Orientation Camp for the cadets in school.
To make the long story short, the camp ended with a success supposedly and i was actually very glad that many CIs and old boys came back to help. Managed to complete 2 classes of the CA paper throughout one night of marking cum meeting session. (the 3rd stack was completed in between breaks at the course)
So in the end i did not actually sleep for more than a day during the camp. Everything ended around 4pm and i had to stay behind to complete the marks entry till 5 plus. By the time i reached home, i was so tired that i could not even bother to take dinner le.
Slept around 7pm till 8am this morning, and went for the Chinese Quiz Competition from 12 to 430pm into the afternoon. Completed a stack of compo and here i am, blogging. Wonder how this new week is coming to be .... ...
Tuesday the 28th of Feb was the start of the OC Modular conducted at NPCC HQ and went on for a whopping 4 days at the very ulu Choa Chu Kang Home Team Academy. Then when it all ended, it was to be a very long journey home to prepare for the Sec 1 Orientation Camp for the cadets in school.
To make the long story short, the camp ended with a success supposedly and i was actually very glad that many CIs and old boys came back to help. Managed to complete 2 classes of the CA paper throughout one night of marking cum meeting session. (the 3rd stack was completed in between breaks at the course)
So in the end i did not actually sleep for more than a day during the camp. Everything ended around 4pm and i had to stay behind to complete the marks entry till 5 plus. By the time i reached home, i was so tired that i could not even bother to take dinner le.
Slept around 7pm till 8am this morning, and went for the Chinese Quiz Competition from 12 to 430pm into the afternoon. Completed a stack of compo and here i am, blogging. Wonder how this new week is coming to be .... ...
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