29 August 2007

Running

Ever felt that your brain is filled with water?

Well, mine is, after dunking many 1L-filled water bottles. It's tough when herbal tea and some catch up sleep wasn't able to solve the problem.

Then the myriad of tasks at hand seemed grow even more as the day went on. So it were lessons throughout the day, a 30-min rushed lunch, taking attendance, running around ensuring that the attendance of a hundred would be correct, doing the admin for the attendance taking, settling discipline problems, Leavers' ceremony food details, going through red tape for the ordering, planning programmes, admin for the holiday... and many tasks coming...

revision papers not done, homework unmarked... the list is endless!

12 hrs and running!

28 August 2007

The extent you have to go to convince one person... and there are many more to go?

T: Whey do your work
S: Teacher can i bring home and do?

T: cannot
S: i promise i will do at home

T: What do you want to be when you grow up?
S: I dunno leh

T: Har how can dunno?
S: I dunno leh

T: Do you come from a rich family?
S: No

Another student: Teacher he bluff you one, he is quite rich
T: Then nevermind.. your parents will find a way out for you

T: Do your work leh
S: I cannot concentrate here leh

T: Then what? Waste your time in school ah?
S: I promise you i will do at home

T: cannot
S: teacher next time can i work from home? i think i cannot do work outside my place

T: can, if you are your own boss, r u going to be one?
S: yes, i am going to start a business

T: then u have to be very creative, have good PR and money!
S: tsk tsk

T: ok do your work, or u will stay back during detention and do
S: .... ....

27 August 2007

Recurring

They say teaching needs a lot of patience.

I say teaching needs a lot of renewing patience.

Its always the same people doing the same things, but yet somehow not so similar.

Like there is always a correct behaviour to follow yet people are not so interested in it sometimes.

So some teachers lost that renewal part of themselves and simply washed their hands off the matter.

Some do it through passion, others follow a code. To some it's a job, to others its a commitment.

If only all of us can recognise that each individual is different and the infinity of the possibilities, maybe renewal will come about

26 August 2007

Glad

Somehow the visit by Darren and Michael brought a lot of happiness to the teachers last Wednesday. It was a very simple visit, but it was also a very special one.

Both had been posted overseas on scholarship studies, one in the University of Michigan (USA) and the other at the Imperial College (UK).

I heard they came around 11am, and they left at 3pm, and had gone hungry without their lunches.

It's been 7 years since they graduated.

Sometimes, words can only mean so much, don't they?

Awakening

At the hospital visiting dad when he was found to be asleep. I did not wake him up as he had always complained about his inability to sleep all these years because of the breathlessness. He had seldom been so soundly asleep. Despite the disturbances from the nurses and the talking from the visitors, he held on still in his dreams. I stood there, quiet and reading a wad of newpapers in my hands, silent in the room where many patients were attended by their loved ones.

The nurse called out his name and he was still fast asleep. As he woke, he did not seem to be able to respond to the conversation. I figured it must all have been a blur to him, to be awoken from his deep sleep. And it didn't seem that he got the message that i was already by his side at the bed when the nurse tried to capture his attention.

Then it dawned on me.

What if the future will be as such? What if we could never communicate any more? Would the persistence had been fruitful and achieved whatever means it had been intended?

Father did not asked for much. The usual complaints, the single request for a piece of soap although toiletries were provided for.

I guess I will have to get him, for that was the only thing I can do at the very least.

23 August 2007

No Noise in the Hall

Well the things is many of us are not pushing our limits in the school. Just the other day, i was pissing off many in the hall with my "rogue" behaviour of allowing absolutely no noise. Some of you might be wondering on why this particular teacher is so unreasonable as to not even allow small talk, though. let's not get stuck in the nitty gritty.

Let's talk about the right thing to do.

1st level: In the hall during school assembly, there should be no talking.
2nd level: If everybody talks, even in whispers, the hall becomes noisy. That means we are not disciplined, even if we had already a long day before.
3rd level: If however we still cannot control ourselves, the teacher is there to ensure. Sure each form teacher is responsible for his own class, but that does not mean he should not care about the school as a whole.

So i guess this explains why i do not allow any noise in the hall. Because if you talk and are discovered by me, you are already breaking many do-nots.

What is the point of doing all these?

Discipline does not allow fatigue to overcome itself. Discipline is being able to overcome challenges when the situation demands. Discipline is about conditioning. Discipline is about tolerating things that we do not like. Discipline is vital for success.

Thus i hope this explains my actions, though i have no obligation to explain myself in the first place :)

19 August 2007

超越极限!

I think sometimes when you really sincerely try something and persists in it... somehow or rather it shows.

Many people around me says why try when no one is doing, why do when it is futile... all the more it seems that my resolve will be stronger when i hear these words.

I guess we are all humans, but i am determined to test the limits.

17 August 2007

One ex-student of mine says my blog is so very sad... and that it makes him to not even dare to want to tag the board.

And then i thought, gee.. this is not what i wanted to publicize for my blog! :p

But these days have not been easy still.

I remember everything changed when my teacher confided in me about something of our school. It sort of got me thinking... sometimes we all tend to expect a lot of things and not put in effort for what we want to believe in. Students are so, teachers are so too. If we are in a predicament that we are not too happy about, we complaint about it most of the time... but sometimes, do complaints really help?

So i went on a "rampage"!

Though i was not a member of the discipline committee, every class i came into contact with was every class the target for my vision ---- you do what you expect the class should be achieving.

This means 2* is the class of my persistent scrutiny every morning, i will make it a point to show to them that i am watching them every single morning and that it's perfectly possible of keeping absolutely still during morning assembly.

This means 4* will always be "victims" of my "want-to-kill you" stares every morning when they indulge in their arrogant and negative comments about school and of their need to talk despite it being the wrong thing to do.

This means 4* will also be my permanent target of inspection everytime i pass by them during recess time.

This means all students who walks pass me will have to be in proper attire.

This means all my teaching classes must be spending minimum effort of behaving and doing work every single lesson.

This means my form class has to be of a level higher than the rest or face my wrath as a result of my need to achieve high standards so i can fulfil my unsaid promise to my teacher.

It is very tough on the mind if you happen to wonder, but i guess everything comes at a price. If the students understand what i am trying to achieve, they will do the right things. If they don't, i will convince them with my persistence if words and reasoning fail.

Or maybe i will fail in all these, or maybe you may say what of the use it will be if it is only a single individual doing this single thing?

Perhaps it may be futile, but recently i realise, the mind is much stronger than what the body perceives, and challenging the impossible is certainly what makes life more meaningful!

15 August 2007

From Harrold's blog.... hmm isn't it amazing that i was a sociology major at uni?

You scored as Sociology, You should be a Sociology major!

Sociology

100%

Theater

100%

Anthropology

92%

Psychology

92%

Journalism

92%

Engineering

83%

Philosophy

83%

Art

75%

English

67%

Mathematics

67%

Linguistics

67%

Dance

58%

Biology

50%

Chemistry

17%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

The Heart Feels Warm!

from a message left by a student (though yeah.. i teach chinese):


"Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "新加坡越来越热! 年平均气温30年来上升两度":

mr chew.

juz wanted to tell u ur effort is really fantastic.

cos this topic...
is e english oral topic for today.

THANK YOU!!!

i will jiayou n achieve my A1:) "

长路漫漫

也许一起走,不论成功失败,路还是会走出来的。
此刻的脑袋是茫乱、昏昏的⋯⋯也许总是会走到颈瓶处。

这就是所谓的转折点吗?

但愿我不会沉沦、我不愿迷足深陷,我不要变成一个失去热忱的人。

我必须走下去。

So So Drained

There must be a way to overcome all these... but what?

13 August 2007

Holy Totem


Holy Totem, originally uploaded by crassus08.

Wonder if its the special geography of the place that makes the sky look so much closer to the eye... though it's a fact that Tibet is much nearer to the skies due to the 3000m elevation

Tashilunpo Monastary


Tashilunpo Monastary, originally uploaded by crassus08.

Set against a backdrop of a beautiful blue sky, the Tashilunpo Monastary looks kind of out of the world isn't it?

死神


死神, originally uploaded by crassus08.

The Tibetan God of Death, the artwork is done in such a way such that the eyes of the deity will be focusing at you no matter which angle or position you stand when observing the painting. It's kind of a 3-D effect i suppose.

11 August 2007

27 July 2005

转眼已经两年了。不知亲爱的朋友,你是否幸福快乐?

10 August 2007

Snow Lions


Snow Lions, originally uploaded by crassus08.

最近忙得无法开交……在西藏拍下的照片都迟迟没有上栽……好像有些吊人胃口是不?

08 August 2007

规劝

为什么就是不听呢?为什么一番苦心对你们而言就只是唠叨?是否倾全力的告白还不足够?90分钟的循循善诱难道就如此不重要?是否你们的世界就真的要如此虚度?

被吊起来的心

Really want to say thanks to R who never fails to encourage when i am very down. I think it's so bad that i lose the spirit when i walk into my form class. The connection seems lost. I heard and i understand about the theory of putting fertilizer and water and the part about them getting handy in the future but sometimes certain things just seem to hang inside, just like a sharp metal hook gagging up the heart, and you feel so helplessly trapped and tangled... does anyone feel that way before?

06 August 2007

Happenings

So what was the matter? I think i have a very good relationship with my form class all these while. In fact, i think my form class is a very sweet and nice class. They don't create trouble and they are a sensible lot generally. Why generally? Because some people inside are just not behaving the way they are supposed to.

Homework, this is a big issue. Behaviour and attitude towards excellence. I think our class has a big issue. All other subjects aside, none of my assignments given to them has ever got a 100% hit in returns. So what is the point of being nice?

By constantly nagging? It probably works, but it burdens a great deal on me. When something is constantly on your mind, it stresses you a lot.

Recently it's beginning to take a toil on my health. All the constant migraines and gastric problems... all as a result of accumulated stress and deadlines. It doesn't help when the school is pushing for SEM reports, SQC status and EV on top of managing sec 4 teachers for RME and the grueling admin work for Founder's Day. All the admin with the entire school of form teachers took me a whole week of stress and many many PR problems to resolve. I don't like all these things but how can i ignore? If i let go of the absentees, comments will come that i am irresponsible. If i do not let them go, people will comment that i am doing extra work... so what is a man got to do?

And CCA? It's a really big shock that our cadets are so bad in their drills. They cannot even stand properly for long. I still remember the times whereby 50 push-ups at one go is nothing of a challenge. Nowadays we have safety guidelines and policies. Maybe it is the proper thing to have guidelines, but i wonder exactly how much we are doing for our next generation.

Why do i bother to meet the ncos and ask them to do work when at the end of the day, nothing seems to come back? Are your words just worthless or they think you are cracking jokes? Or they simply give up or refuse to attain excellence?

Just what is the thing with excellence that puts people away? Why are we so afraid of failure? Why are we all so irresponsible? Why can we not go ahead and face up to challenges?

What happened to all the time that i am supposed to do marking? What happened to students nowadays that they do not come together and overcome problems together?

What happened to all the people who said that they would help? What happened to all the zeal and the passion? What happened to love? What is happening to our world?

The difference of being a very fierce teacher and a very nurturing teacher is when you have to put up a front and do things that you dislike. The pressure is building and its of no avail when your students put up a battle with you. Endless amount of tracking, always remembering that you are to punish them when actually it wasn't your intention. When will they see that it's always the matter and not them? Or perhaps that they need to do it right so unpleasant things will not happen?

Maybe there's more than just school that's causing those not-hardworking problems but are studies not the most important right now?