Okie its late and i might be crazy to be doing this, but what the heck.
Tonight i had the chance to talk to someone about the incident as tagged by 安仔 and it is only now that i understand the complexity of the entire situation.
To make the really long story short, it was really a very simple affair. There was this really young graduate from the university who first joined the teaching fraternity in the year 2004 and got posted to his alma mater.
He was inexperienced and he had not a clue on how it was like to be teaching but yet he was made to take over a class as part of his teaching experience. Its absurd that such a thing should happen, as the poor class of whom he was teaching was to become the ultimate sacrifice in so that this young and inexperienced teacher could learn what teaching was all about.
Yet there was not any other way whereby he could have been made to learn.
So accidents happen and a lot of blunders later, the bad karma came back to him in the form of bad remarks and even nasty insults as was made know to him through word of mouth.
If it was in the past, this young and inexperienced teacher would have been very upset and will make it a point to quit the teaching service so as not to bring more harm to more students. But then, the present was not the way it was before.
He thought of the people he had seen; there are very capable people who could teach but chose to ruin or not care about their very own students (yes such people do exist, was seen in other schools) and came to the conclusion:
At least he was trying the best he could.
It was not the best that anyone could offer, it should be in fact quite "sucky" as most of the people in the poor class could have felt, but it was nevertheless the best the young teacher had to offer.
The worser thing is that this teacher did not even realise it until that incident in the hall that very fateful day. Many things go through in his head after that -- he still agrees that he is a sucky teacher, he still thinks his proficiency leaves much to be desired, and he is still trying to improve.
Words could only mean so much, some would say.
But yet when this young teacher thought back in retrospect, he felt that the very long hours that he had spent in the school, sometimes to an average of 12 hrs is proof enough of his trying.
But facts are facts and the truth is that he sucks. So the only thing that he can do now is to say sorry for the bad times that he had brought to the very unlucky class.
Now the teacher is still trying, and at the same time trying to look for signs for him to whether to continue in the service or not. Do let him know, approach him, be assured that he will not ridicule or scold, as he had done when the students in 4D had done. (In fact he liked that kind of "confrontation". [that meant feedback!])
As for now, the teacher can only carry on... and hope that his sincerity can move more people than turn them off.
I am that teacher. (haha i know its lame... but i think i am quite lame la... LOL)
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