Still it bothers me after many days. I guess its not something that anyone can make a definition about, whether we are successful or we are not.
As a teacher, i guess its not totally appropriate to immerse myself in the training in the very 1st place (whoever made this unspoken rule), yet there are still people who does this.
The heart worries when promises are made and you dun see them fulfilled. So rather than to see training going to waste, it was our own bodies of which we put to the test.
However at the end of it all, i am sad to say that everything ended with a treat of ice-cream and a hasty retreat of people.
Made me ponder: have my efforts all went down the drain?
Did we do it totally wrong?
It really feels very very sad when your efforts are down the drain, especially when there's no visible reward to the taking. Last time when i was in the team, i had the trophies to look forward to.
Now i guess its naught.
It shall take yet another big jump to be able to pull myself up again, just like when i see people leave, because they cannot agree, or people who treat you like strangers when they see you on the street.
Sometimes giving yourself means more than expecting an immediate reward, and i guess i must be like a phoenix, setting myself ablaze when all seems hopeless and start anew.
Yet how many times can i set myself ablaze before i am totally cold and broken?
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